The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which navigate to these guys acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it like it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is very important More Info for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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